reading ludwig binswanger’s essay on extravagance in the manic versus the schizoid versus the neurotic personalities, according to his existential psychology theories.  i like j’s interest in philosophical psychology very much.  it at least treats the ‘science’ closer to what it really is, which is as abstract and theoretical as any study in philosophy.  maybe someday we can start our own private practice, she could use her psych degree and i could research relevant philosophies…aww the ‘rents ‘d be so proud…

notes from skinny legs and all:

(religion) not merely the opium of the masses, it is the cyanide.

politics is the science of domination (walls of the fish tanks constructed of ignorance and superstition, held together with fear) once religion became political, the exercise of it could be said to lead sooner or later to war (logical extension of politics is war)

religion=institutionalized mysticism
the catch is mysticism does not lend itself to institutionalization.  The moment we attempt to organize mysticism, we destroy its essence.  religion, then, is mysticism in which the mystical has been killed.
religion=divisive, oppressive, denial of all that is divine in people; suffocation of the soul

consensual reality-makes the world seem larger yet simultaneously more private (eye game)

pious dogma, if allowed to flourish, will always drive magic away.

religion is an improper response to the Divine

the dead are laughing at us.

this is the room of the wolfmother wallpaper.  this is the room where the boys slept inside their blowguns to avoid being bitten by the bats, for whom the girls sewed tiny velvet suits.

and, my favorite:  We must cultivate beauty or risk not being able to recognize ugliness.

phlegmatic-thinking introvert
melancholic-feeling introvert or intuitive type
sanguine-thinking extravert
choleric-feeling extravert or sensation type

i guess i’m mostly melancholy phlegm.

that opens out before closed eyes.  (I’d tell you all what you want and more, if the sounds I made could be what you hear)

reading the infinite jest (source of said lyrics); when i am done it better be fucking warm out.

Awakening.  Novel-time begins.  Movement

Minute one:  Evocation of Eterna’s face

The kisses you denied me bite your lips
Biting each other
lips make each other bitter

You write the manuscript of this your novel where
I give you my spirit as you gave me yours

And for what I could not be, I have your
Gesture of divine sadness, of your I Cannot,
In this denial my being made whole

Whole persona, you raised me in the no “Living”
And how much more in Loving.

p. 125

thirlwell also quotes ricardo piglia on borges (who cited macedonio as his hero and inspiration) on his ‘capacity to read everything like a fiction and believe in its power.’  maybe it is this faith alone that makes them resonate so deeply.

some notes on adam thirlwell’s preface to macedonio’s museum of eterna:

the gravity with which he tried to be precise to the trauma of love
the real subjects of this lightly playful novel are the grave ones of death and love.
ideal of artistic suicide-novel stops being a novel at all
m aspired to win reader over as a character ‘so that for an instant he believes that he himself does not live.’ 
only the novel (or blahggle?) has this ontological power.
the only things that can’t die are the things that haven’t begun.
suicide occurs in the moment of pleasure.
because if he can turn the reader into a fiction, if he can deny that anything really lives and dies, then he can save love as a meaningful emotion.
as for the novel itself, macedonio thinks that it should take place in the street.

so let’s.

my hesitation in decision making seems to stem from a fear of commitment…i hate ruling out other possibilities…so the system i prefer is to decide to do the opposite first…and then from there commit to the alternate decision.  though convoluted, this system seems to work for the most part, excepting of course those decisions which are, sadly, irreversible.

work appearing in sein und werden.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lyric66/

these are all old.  maybe one day i’ll be bored enough to scan some of my new drawings.  i think i’d have to be pretty bored.

seriously – a dragon lives in the dungeon behind my living room (cave) wall, and I wish he could keep quiet when people come over.