Through voluntary devotion I removed
binding ties. Therefore I had to remain true to love, and, devoted
to it voluntarily, I suffer the dismembering and thus attain bonding
with the great mother, that is, the stellar nature, liberation from
bondage to men and things.
i know; i am obsessed with the red book.
p. 320
/If your beauty grows, the dreadful worm will also creep up
you, waiting for its prey. Nothing is sacred to him except his eye,
with which he sees the most beautiful. He will never give up his
eye. He is invulnerable, but nothing protects his eye; it is delicate
and clear, adept at drinking in the eternal light. It wants you, the
bright red light of your life.
What abyss of blood-dripping history separates you from me!
I grasped your hand and looked at you. I lay my head in your lap
and felt the living warmth of your body on mine as if it were my
own body-and suddenly I felt a smooth cord around my neck,
which choked me mercilessly…
Rise up, you gracious fire of old night.
I kiss the threshold of your beginning.
My hand prepares the rug and spreads abundant red flowers before you.
Rise up my friend, you who lay sick, break through the shell.
We have prepared a meal for you.
Gifts have been prepared for you.
Dancers await you.
We have built a house for you.
from The Red Book- Incantations
Everything inside me is in utter disarray. Matters are becoming
serious, and chaos is approaching. Is this the ultimate bottom?
Is chaos also a foundation? If only there weren’t these terrible
waves. The Red Book, Jung, p. 298
In Derrida’s documentary, where his life itself is deconstructed, he mentions the idea of ‘circumfession…so that people think they finally recognize me.’ A secret, he reminds us, is never at home.
thank you friend. i know you probably wonder if i’m really writing or just fucking myself up like when we were hanging out. i am doing better, but it’s not so much about the writing, it’s something like i’m finally feeling. but less numbness makes for more head(heart)aches and i feel like something raw without all that thick lizard skin which I had gotten so good at growing. anyway, maybe you would even be a little proud.
brief interview man who likes to bring women back to his apartment and carefully systematically build to a point in which he asks her if he can tie her up… mentions his process of chicken-sexing… he says in poultry industry specifically New Zealand this is a something done by one with some sixth sense that is unteachable and unexplained. But they know if a chick is a cock or a hen just by being there…this is the skill he seems to have with women..he knows if they are ‘willing to play’ so to say, making them a hen as opposed to a cock. Powerplay a la my look up look down story and then in the end he collapses into their arms crying like a baby…the profound climax occurring when he asks Are you frightened?
from p. 114 of wallace’s brief interviews with hideous men: “This is the moment of truth. The entire ritual – perhaps ceremony would be better, more evocative, because we – of course the whole thing from proposal onward is about ceremony – and the climax is the subject’s response to this prompt. To Are you frightened? What is required is a twin acknowledgment. She is to acknowledge that she is wholly in my power at this moment. And she must also say she trusts me. She must acknowledge that she is not afraid I will betray or abuse the power I’ve been ceded. The excitement is at its absolute peak during this interchange, reaching a sustained climax which persists for exactly as long as it takes me to extract these assurances from her.”
wow i’ve met you so many times.
i think i have written more today than i have in the last two months. and i also feel that i should find some way to stay up for as long as it takes to get all this down onto paper. and also i think that i am probably being a little weird and should refrain from interactions with others until this passes. and also i think i am very susceptible to moon fever.
“Lacan calls the specular image “orthopaedic” as it leads the child to anticipate the overcoming of its “real specific prematurity of birth”. The vision of the body as integrated and contained, in opposition to the child’s actual experience of motor incapacity and the sense of its body as fragmented, induces a movement from “insufficiency to anticipation”.[10] In other words, the mirror image initiates and then aids, like a crutch, the process of the formation of an integrated sense of self.
In the Mirror stage a misunderstanding – “méconnaissance” – constitutes the Ego—the ‘moi’ becomes alienated from itself through the introduction of an imaginary dimension to the subject. It must be said that the mirror stage also has a significant symbolic dimension. The Symbolic order is present in the figure of the adult who is carrying the infant: the moment after the subject has jubilantly assumed his image as his own, he turns his head towards this adult who represents the big Other, as if to call on him to ratify this image.” from an article on le stade du miroir in Lacanian theory, posted on Wikipedia 2010.
l noelle mclaughlin 