that opens out before closed eyes. (I’d tell you all what you want and more, if the sounds I made could be what you hear)
reading the infinite jest (source of said lyrics); when i am done it better be fucking warm out.
Author: l noelle mclaughlin
Ghostwriter for hire.
more macedonio
Awakening. Novel-time begins. Movement
Minute one: Evocation of Eterna’s face
The kisses you denied me bite your lips
Biting each other
lips make each other bitter
You write the manuscript of this your novel where
I give you my spirit as you gave me yours
And for what I could not be, I have your
Gesture of divine sadness, of your I Cannot,
In this denial my being made whole
Whole persona, you raised me in the no “Living”
And how much more in Loving.
p. 125
so i will read you and you and you
thirlwell also quotes ricardo piglia on borges (who cited macedonio as his hero and inspiration) on his ‘capacity to read everything like a fiction and believe in its power.’ maybe it is this faith alone that makes them resonate so deeply.
SFz and immortality
some notes on adam thirlwell’s preface to macedonio’s museum of eterna:
the gravity with which he tried to be precise to the trauma of love
the real subjects of this lightly playful novel are the grave ones of death and love.
ideal of artistic suicide-novel stops being a novel at all
m aspired to win reader over as a character ‘so that for an instant he believes that he himself does not live.’
only the novel (or blahggle?) has this ontological power.
the only things that can’t die are the things that haven’t begun.
suicide occurs in the moment of pleasure.
because if he can turn the reader into a fiction, if he can deny that anything really lives and dies, then he can save love as a meaningful emotion.
as for the novel itself, macedonio thinks that it should take place in the street.
so let’s.
plurality and picking paths
my hesitation in decision making seems to stem from a fear of commitment…i hate ruling out other possibilities…so the system i prefer is to decide to do the opposite first…and then from there commit to the alternate decision. though convoluted, this system seems to work for the most part, excepting of course those decisions which are, sadly, irreversible.
in april
work appearing in sein und werden.
doodles
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lyric66/
these are all old. maybe one day i’ll be bored enough to scan some of my new drawings. i think i’d have to be pretty bored.
seriously – a dragon lives in the dungeon behind my living room (cave) wall, and I wish he could keep quiet when people come over.
maybe
i should find a way to mix this blog with one of the ones i actually write on. it’s looking a little sparse.
work forthcoming in danse macabre.
soakie and blue
The artist seeks contact with his intuitive sense of the gods, but in order to create his work, he cannot stay in this seductive and incorporeal realm. He must return to the material world in order to do his work. It’s the artist’s responsibility to balance mystical communication and the labor of creation.
I left Mephistopheles, the angels, and the remanants of our handmade world, saying, ‘I choose Earth.’
p. 256 Just Kids
on expansion and mnemonics
The individual consists of memory: each one, in his differing mnemonic path; while still living at home, the feeling of he who feels the most is transmitted to the others, so that there’s no more than a single sentiment; the strongest state is like a tonic and it invades the other consciousnesses, to the point of weakening whoever feels it the most and unifying the surrounding field of consciousness. The individual sustains himself in these multiple memories of corporeal existence that each one has; plurality is only in the conscious existence in which they find themselves now.
p.201 more eterna, eternally yours—>
l noelle mclaughlin 