zuby

You hit the ground running with a terrifying speed
But it’s the ground you cover that terrifies me
And brace yourself for the sound of bleeding

‘Cause bleeding hearts bleed
Bleeding hearts bleed
Bleeding hearts bleed

And “please” is not a word that I ever say quietly…

You said your love was fierce, fierce, fierce
You said your love was fierce, it’s true
You said your love was fierce, fierce, fierce
You said your love was fierce and I agree with you

His child of the future is the child I am seeing, too
You said your love was fierce and I agree with you
These tigers at heart are the tigers I am seeing, too
You said your love was fierce and I agree with you

lyrics from swan lake’s ‘are you swimming in her pools’
i freakin love this band 

 One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable, and therefore, not popular. —Carl Jung 


well if i  had a ‘real world’ resume, i could cite expertise in unpopularity since i was a scrawny little girl.

A writer — and, I believe, generally all persons — must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art. -Jorge Luis Borges

k called me last night out of nowhere saying everything i was thinking after all this time.

here is my video of the day.

i like complex characters – the people in my life who play different parts, which is not to say that they are not steadfast and unwavering:  they absolutely are themselves at all times.  but those selves that are a complex balance of weakness and strength is i think what’s so appealing.  they’re just worth being around on character inspiration alone (though really much more, but when i’m feeling antisocial i guess that is how i see people).

Pronounced in a certain way, under his breath, with the ‘h’ strongly aspirated, her name sent her crazy. p.80

Reading Colette’s 7, which was given to me by my grandma, who prefers to be called Gigi (from the title character in one of the stories).  She acted very casual and bored when she gave it to me, but I know that this is just her act; I know it meant a lot to her.   I like the line above from the story ‘The Cat,’ which details the relationship of a boy and his cat, whom he loves far above his new wife.  While the style and genre are outdated, Colette excels in convincing description.  She sees her characters completely, clearly.  She can make a cat as seductive as a mistress, and a boy as playful as a puppy.

today my living room is filled with dozens of bags of books from t which i am going to go through, pick the best, trade out that many of my own (i won’t allow myself more than one bookshelf when libraries and the internet exist), then try to sell at work.  even if i got a dollar each for a quarter of them that would be sweet.  and they’re fun to go through.  i especially like looking at the czech ones, even though i can’t read them.  ha i spent years of my life trying to learn that language.  to this day i remember it better than spanish or french or italian, though that’s not saying much.  i wonder if d retained any of his spanish he picked up in costa rica.  oh well, brain plasticity is still awesome.

my favorite line in this is ‘i want to be scared.’

do i?  could i trick myself so well?