My grandmother told me she is kind of a vampire.
And that she has a very rare blood disorder, like three people in the entire world.
And that she needs other people’s blood. If she doesn’t have it then her face swells up and she changes from a pretty pale aged Audrey Hepburn to a monster with small eyes and growing head like horns.
I told her i am the universal donor (type o negative oh yes liquid gold).

But grandma, will you read me the story again? Of the girl with long black hair and red ribbons streaming down, and the clomp clomp of her love riding up on the back of a horse?…