today i am awake.

thinking about trains.  i wonder whatever happened to lars the train-hopper.  i wonder what the train tracks in kingston by my old art show look like right now.  i wonder what would have happened if i’d went on the walk b wanted me to.

i like this poet.  perhaps i will purchase his house with a dark sky roof.  the last poetry book i purchased i lent to a friend i wanted to share it with who never gave it back and i really hope at least he is reading it because it always made me think of him.

• S: (adj) aural (of or pertaining to hearing or the ear) “an animal with a very sensitive aural apparatus”

today i am so grateful.  you are such a strong spirit and i am so honored that you chose me as your mother in this lifetime.

I have always had this fear of people, not actually of the people themselves, but of their intrusion.
(I just found this note jotted down on a piece of old mail.  The mail is a postcard from the Ann Street Gallery for an exhibit called Bound.  I don’t know why I didn’t go, but I should have.  I don’t know where I read that quote, but I know why I liked it.)

any action born of confusion leads to further confusion.  “i cease to act in terms of confusion anymore.  therefore inaction is complete action.” p.66 freedom from the known

here is a very well-written article discussing the killing of deer.

“The evolution of our species does not force species to mature psychospiritually, and individual maturation, in general, does not cause our species to evolve. But, in our time, if we do not mature as individuals (and consequently as societies), the entire arc of human evolution might soon come to an end. We are in danger of extinction––along with the extinction we have already wrought upon thousands of other species. The continuation of our human arc depends on which circle – egocentric or soul centric – we embrace.” Plotkin

i.e. – the scarcity of sages is scary

“Jungian defenses may involve the denial of a potentially life-changing archetypal experience and a defensive return to the earlier, narrower persona; or capitulating to the collective psyche, perhaps with the justification of possessing unique spiritual wisdom or connections.” Mitchell 

I will not capitulate! (?)